Horrorscopes

Aries

Today you will discover something you ate is not what you thought you ate. You will like it. You will hunger for more

Taurus

Today you will die.

  Not you specifically, all Tauruses.

The Culling has begun

Gemini

 The only thing that can fill the empty void inside is even more void. You know what to do

Cancer

 Today you will die.

You specifically.

Only you can read this.

All other Cancers have a different horoscope. A happy horoscope. A safe horoscope

But not you.

You will die.

Repent

Leo

 Run Run and never stop

 

Virgo

Today you will learn that love is a hollow lie. But you may also get a compliment from an attractive co-worker!

Libra

 I'm sorry. I am SO sorry

Scorpio

You will start to notice changes in your life. Tiny changes in the world around you. Tiny insignificant changes you will be unable to put your finger on. Just enough change to make things feel 'wrong'. Just enough to make the familiar feel alien, the comforting feel callous, the sure feel unsure. Just enough change to drive you mad.

Not a good time for travel.

Sagittarius

There are important questions you have been putting off. What are my plans for life? Where do I want to be in 5 years. How much do you bleed? It is time to start asking these questions.

Capricorn

Now is a good time to go out and talk to new people! Talk to as many people as you can. Because this week you are in danger of literally being crushed by silence. For your own safety talk to anyone about anything. Never stop talking.

Aquarius

When it happens, you will know. You will know and you will know it is what you deserve.

Pisces

Today you will kill a Taurus.

One of you will kill a Cancer


Happy hunting!